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Дата: 01.04.2007 00:01
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Я прекрасен. Умен, пусть немолод,
Плюс - воспитан в культурной среде…
Почему ж как Марат не заколот
Я кинжалом Шарлотты Корде?

Богатырской безудержной силой
От Геракла я неотличим -
Отчего ж как Самсону Далила
Не обрила мне кудри в ночи?!

Бомбу под ноги мне не швырнули,
Не стреляла эсерка Каплан -
И бандитские подлые пули
Не прошили мой старый реглан…

Отчего же судьба так жестока?
Я обижен был ею вдвойне…
Не прошибли почто альпенштоком
Меркадеры головушку мне?

Отчего же бревном, в самом деле,
Не повержен я, как Сирано?
Почему же завистник Сальери
Не подсыпал мне яду в вино?

Не спешат ни Дантес, ни Мартынов
Грудь пробить мне прицельной стрельбой…
Что ж, выходит, в безвестности сгинув,
Я усопну как смертный любой?

И помру, позабыт-позаброшен,
Не дождавшись Далил и Шарлот?
Снег могилку мою запорошит
И никто над ней слез не прольет?

(Как с тоски мне такой не напиться?..)
Где ты, киллер, товарищ и брат?
Где ж ты ходишь, мой праздный убийца,
Сердцу гения милый камрад?

На тебя же я, как на икону,
Ежедневно молюсь… Не томи!
И тогда на весь мир растрезвонят
ИТАР-ТАССы и прочие СМИ,

Всех читателей в траур вгоняя,
Не жалея прочувственных слов,
Что погиб от руки негодяя
Знаменитый поэт Боркунов.

И немедля утихнут зоилы,
Толстым рылом вконец посерев…
И всплакнут у разверстой могилы
Хакамада, Явлинский и Греф.

Упокоюсь в просторной гробнице
На Ваганьковском кладбище я.
И придут с моим прахом проститься
И известный артист, и швея.

У ограды посадят две ели…
(Хоть могли бы и три посадить),
И мой образ Зураб Церетели
Изваяет, вполне может быть.

И собранья моих сочинений
В Доме книги пойдут нарасхват -
Я останусь в умах поколений…
Так-то, друг мой, товарищ и брат.

Может, даже Героем России
После смерти объявят меня –
Вот тогда безобразный и синий
Я уйду, никого не виня.

Но учтите одно, недоноски,
Коль смолчит обо мне ИТАР-ТАСС -
Перед смертью проклятьем японским
Прокляну я немедля всех вас.

И восстанет мой труп из могилы,
Ликом страшный, глухой и слепой,
И пройдется по вам, гомофилы,
Полусгнившей мертвецкой стопой.

И в безмерной тоске куртуазной
Я взлелеял идею одну:
Чтобы вы не забыли наказ мой,
Я заранее вас прокляну!
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Текст: Жирный Наклон Подчёркнутый Цитата
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